"Nyo Deal!" Consuela screams at the TV while shovelling Ben & Jerry's into her mouth.
"Dat Howie Mandel, he iz no like to touch da people's hands! I iz reading in dat magazine dat he is hates de germs. He iz brings da new bed into da hotel wis him!" she tells me as she piles another spoonful into her mouth.
I ignore her as best I can.
"Loooook Mia, he iz don't touch der hands. He iz only touch wis hiz fists!" she says as Howie Mandel fist pumps the contestant in congratulations for moving forward in the game.
"Yer see?" she says to me.
I nod and continue to flip the pages of the trash mag I'm reading. A moment later the doorbell buzzes. It's a really sad buzz; it kinda looses its oomph one or two seconds into it before trailing off into the faint cry of a dying electronic cow.
Consuela ignores it.
"Uh..." I start, "are you gonna get that?"
"Yer get it Mia, I iz busy!" she says and doesn't even turn away from case number 23 being opened.
I walk towards the door. I start to think that maybe I should increase my pace before they --
Too late. The dying cow serenades us one more time as I open it.
"Hi," says Det. Stevens.
Well hellooo...
"Hi!" I say and completely forget that I look like crap. He starts to tell me that he was in the neighborhood, and I try my best to readjust my shirt as inconspicuously as possible.
"Did you maybe want to get a bite to eat?" he asks.
"Absolutely! I just need a minute," I say and invite him into the hallway. A moment later I'm whizzing by the living room and racing to my bedroom to grab...
...a jean skirt? I rip off my pyjama bottoms and throw it on. Then a tank top. Hair back in a pony tail...hoop earrings. Some lipstick...
Deodorant!
Ok. I'm good. Where are my flip flops?
"Bye!" I yell to Consuela as I scurry back to the foyer where Det. Stevens is waiting.
"Sorry about that," I say with a smile and walk into the courtyard. Dina-Pina is sitting on her patio reading a script. She waives to us as we walk towards her.
"Have fu-un.." she sings as we pass by her.
"Where's Charlie?" I say. I don't like leaving her alone when he's not around.
"He'll be back." she says with a big smile and shoos us away. "Go. Have fun. I'm fine."
I hesitate for a second. Something in my gut is haunting me about leaving, but if Det. Stevens is fine with popping out for dinner; then I should be too.
Stop worrying so much, Karen.
I walk over to her and give her a big hug. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" I say. She instantly frowns at me and gives me that 'don't ruin this for yourself' look. I roll my eyes when I realize how dumb I'm acting. I wish her luck on whatever lines she's studying and turn to walk towards the rod iron gate.
"Everything OK?" Det. Stevens says as we pass through the gate. My gut tells me 'no', but then I think that I am maybe overreacting. After all, I'm a writer. We can insert the worst-case-scenario into anything. Charlie will be back soon enough.
I shake off my neurosis and slip into the passenger seat of his very clean car.
Clean cars are a good sign...
I start to enjoy myself. A moment later I forget about the fact that I overreacted, and start to unwind as Brad begins to tell me about his day.
