"I don't know if I can do this anymore," I say to Linda as I grab my head and slump onto the ground. The noise from the evening activity at the resort hums in the background.
"What do you mean?" Linda says as she stops trotting ahead of me and whips around to a full stop.
"I mean, let the beast come. I don't think I have it in me to fight it off." I tell her as tears form in my eyes. The ground is cold and damp, but somehow the numbness it adds to my legs makes me feel present. Alive.
"You do have it in you," Linda says with sadness in her voice as she walks towards me and grabs both of my hands. She can see I'm really upset.
We sit there for a moment as the cold evening winds whip past us. In the distance I can see lights coming from the guesthouses, and I know that one of them is hers and Benny's. We don't have much farther to go, but right now, under the weight of all that is rushing through my mind, I can't even stand.
"Come on," Linda tells me as she heaves me to my feet and wraps my arm around the back of her neck for leverage. "We don't have much farther to go."
I struggle to take the first few steps, at first my fatigue is too heavy, eventually it too becomes numb to the cold night air; and I manage to keep pace with Linda. Cold tears stream down my cheeks as we approach Linda's guesthouse; I am a mess. A riddled, anxious mess.
When we get into her guest house, Linda runs upstairs and returns a moment later with some sort of feather and stone amulet which hangs from a twine. She puts it over my neck and asks me to repeat chanting words after her. Which I do.
I have no idea what I'm saying, but I do start to feel better a minute or two later. And, while Linda collects powders and other ingredients from her kitchen -- I walk towards a chair, and sit patiently while the deeper breaths revitalize my lungs.
Linda walks over to the fireplace and starts lighting the kindle. A pot of some sort hangs to the right of the hearth, and I watch as she places it on the logs and starts to add ingredients. All the while she chants in a native tongue.
When it looks like she is finished with her chant I ask her what she was saying.
"A prayer of protection," she tells me with a smile. She walks back to her kitchen and returns with two glasses of water. When her concoction is boiled, she adds it to our glasses and makes a mulch-like tea.
"Drink all if it," she tells me matter-of-fact. I plug my nose and suck back the slimy muck. When we both are finished emptying our glasses, Linda stands, gives me a big smile and clinks glasses with me.
"You'll be fine now," she tells me as she douses the fire and puts the glasses in the sink.
I don't know what we just drank, but I do have less anxiety, more strength. I feel better. I no longer feel afraid. I know with full confidence that if I were to stand in front of the Caballos Demonios right now it wouldn't be able to enter me. I'm full. Completely connected with my inner strength. There is no room for fear.
"Shall we go find Benny and have some dinner?" Linda asks.
I nod. I think it will be good to return to the real world for a few hours.
As we walk towards the resort, the winds have calmed down. In the distance, I see Ralph walking towards us. He's with another officer.
I try not to let my mind slip into the paranoia that the Caballos Demonios could be in Ralph or anyone else for that matter, because I can't afford to live in fear. I need to be conscientious of the situation so I can overcome it.
I take a deep breath as he approaches.
"Everything ok?" he asks with genuine concern. I stare into his eyes intently, making sure there aren't any black beads staring back at me, before I respond.
"We're fine, yourself?" I tell him. I'm not being overly friendly.
Ralph looks at us for a moment before responding. I can tell that he doesn't have good news.
"What is it?" Linda says.
"There's been a kidnapping at the resort. We've been combing the area questioning people," he tells us. There is a great sadness in his voice.
I don't know why I didn't realize this a moment ago, but I look up to see helicopters with search lights combing properties around the lake. There are also patrol boats on the water. And Ralph's portable short wave has been buzzing non-stop.
"A kidnapping? Are you sure?" I ask confused.
"Yep, apparently a man came and grabbed his kid. His soon to be ex-wife was staying at the resort with her new man, and well...I guess he snapped."
That poor woman.
"If you see this man, or this kid let us know. His name is Mikey," Ralph says as he hands us a photocopy of their pictures.
"I will," I tell him.
"Absolutely," says Linda.
This night is becoming even crazier than I could have ever imagined. As Linda and I walk towards the resort to go and find Benny, I wonder if anything is ever going to return to normal again. I feel like the world is spinning into mass craziness around me...
And I don't like this feeling at all.
