Sunday, May 2, 2010

I'm not empty?

"Mia, I iz told yer dat da Caballos Demonios iz coming, but yer no want to listen to Consuela. Yer iz sinkin dat Consuela iz stoopid. I iz not stupid Mia! I IZ RIGHT!"

Oh give me a fucking break...

I walk right past Consuela. The last thing I need right now is an 'i told yer so' speech from that fat little fuck.

"Go away," I yell at her as I run up the stairs.

"I iz not go away! Yer sink yer can say "go away" and Consuela go away. But Consuela no go away! I NO GO AWAY!!!"

I slam the bedroom door behind me and run towards my bed, flopping face first onto one of the pillows.

"Yer iz need to leesten to me, Mia. Yer iz in da danger and da Caballos Demonios iz here! Da wife of da Benny she show yer dat, and now yer believe me. And now yer iz lying on da bed -- and I know yer can still hear me wis da pillow on yer head. And I know yer can still hear me when yer sing da la la la la la, I can sing da la la la la la too yer know. LA LA LA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

I roll over to face her.

"Shut the FUCK up!" I tell her as I sit up on the bed and take a deep breath.

Consuela plops into one of the reading chairs and looks at me with her more serious face.

"Mia, yer iz in da danger. Yer iz have da big problem, yer know?" she says and then peers out the window to see if the Caballos Demonios is levitating outside of the cottage.

"Yeah, I got that," I tell her and then stand. I can't hide in my bedroom. I'm not five years old anymore.

I open the bedroom door and start to walk downstairs. Linda said the Elders think that it can only jump into people who are empty. So...I just have to not be empty.

Am I empty?

Fuck.

I walk towards the kitchen to grab some...

I rummage.

Ah!

Carbonated water and a little vodka sounds perfect right about now.

Are there any limes?

Bingo!

"Mia, yer iz gonna do somesing,ok? Yer iz gonna tell da nice Linda dat yer need to borrow da Benny for da marriage, ok?" says Consuela as she shadows to the right of me as I rummage around in the cupboards looking for the vodka.

"I am not using Benny," I tell her matter-of-fact, and then walk towards the deck with the carbonated water, lime juice, and a glass under my arm.

"But yer iz no have da love, and so yer iz empty!"

I slam the sliding glass door in her face. When I turn around she is standing in front of me, "And da Benny - I sink he is da good huzband for yer. Yer should be wis da Benny!" she continues as I walk down the steps towards the dock near the lake.

"Seriously Consuela, I don't need to hear this right now. I am not empty!" I tell her as I grab a bottle of vodka from the outdoor bar and continue walking.

"I sink dat yer iz empty, Mia." Consuela yells back as she waddles behind me. I have longer legs than her, so she's trailing by a few feet.

When I get to the dock, I fill my glass and look straight ahead at the water.

A minute later Consuela plunks down beside me. It takes her a few seconds as she calibrates how to offset the weight of her very round middle as she lowers to the ground -- but she eventually does it. And the dock only shakes a little bit.

"I'm not empty," I tell her after the vodka kicks in, and my nerves have calmed down. We're both watching the sun bob along the tops of the trees before it prepares to go away for a few hours.

Consuela places her chubby little hand on my arm, looks at me and says "But yer iz not have da man to love. So, I sink dat yer heart iz empty. No?" she tells me with a softer look on her face. I know Consuela, in all her backwards fucked up knowledge and limited capacity, means well -- but I disagree with her on this one.

"So, you just want me to love someone?" I say as the vodka really kicks in and my eye lids start to become heavy.

"No, Mia. I iz want da someone to love yer. Den yer heart iz not so empty," she tells me and smiles.

I fixate on her teeth -- or lack of them for a moment. I start to wonder how difficult it must have been not having access to a dentist in the mountains of Peru.

"I know," I tell her and place my arm around her shoulders as we share the sunset.

"I know Consuela," I say, as I use my other hand to pour out the last of the bottle. I raise my glass to the sun one more time before it dips behind the trees. A moment later the lake turns purple, then dark blue.

We sit there for another few minutes, until we see a pair of loons swimming by. I look up to see the stars wink to the lake district as evening begins to bloom.

Maybe Consuela does have a point. Maybe there is a place in every person's heart, albeit tiny, that holds a pocket of emptiness for someone else to fill. I'm not really sure. But as I lean back on the deck and watch the stars intensify as the night becomes darker -- I know that if I am empty, even on an unconscious level, that I could become susceptible to the Caballos Demonios.

And that, would be very bad indeed.